


I Don't Want to Lose You

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [49]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Scott, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Amnesia, Decisions, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Love, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Parenthood, Questions, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10632567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: Stiles talks to his husband about his future.* We are back at the present, so this chapter continues part 44.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes, I don't even get kudos anymore but I'll say for me and for all the writers out there, that leaving kudos doesn't make me feel like you are interested anyway, doesn't really tell me if you want me to continue the story or not or how you felt about the chapter, so yes, please leave some feedback if you enjoyed the chapter and you have thirty seconds... that is actually nice and useful. It hurts when nobody has a second to say a simple thank you or something else. Some people don't get it when a writer explains these things but I feel like I should say this because many people don't really know this reality and I also know many writers who stop writing for lack of feedback and I'm feeling that way today.
> 
> Thanks so much to [WhenAngelsFall](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenAngelsFall/pseuds/WhenAngelsFall) for her lovely beta and support. And thanks to the few people who joined my[ community](http://onthegroundfics.livejournal.com/).

After dinner Stiles was watching TV while Jackson was doing some work because even if he's not going to the office he's still working from home in a few cases which don't require going to court. He is wearing his glasses as he's looking at his laptop when Stiles enters his office.

"Are you busy?" Stiles says from the door.

"Sort of, yeah. Why?"

"I wanted to tell you something. I mean, I've wanted to tell you for a while but I never seem to find the right time," Stiles admits.

That certainly piques Jackson's curiosity and he doesn't feel like talking about it with Stiles just standing there.

"You know, I can finish this later or tomorrow, why don't you go downstairs and I'll join you in couple of minutes."

"Okay, fine," Stiles nods. Before heading downstairs, he enters Daniel's room and he can see that his son keeps sleeping peacefully.

 

 

*****

 

A few minutes after Stiles sat on the sofa of the dinning room Jackson joins him, sitting sideways next to him.

"Okay, so what's this thing you wanted to tell me?"

Stiles seems unsure at first but he decides not to waste more time. "Why haven't you asked me if I wanted to go back to work?"

"What?" Jackson asks confused. "Why haven't I asked you about going back to your job?"

"Yeah. You haven't mentioned it once and I find it very weird, don't you think?"

"Weird?" Jackson frowns. "Stiles, you were in a freaking coma. You almost died. And then, I was in a coma, you remember that, don't you? I think it's safe to say that we've had other stuff to worry about."

"I get that... but still, since you woke up, nobody has asked me about it... and I don't know if you just assumed that I won't get back to work. I don't know if you assumed I'd get my old job back or if you thought I wouldn't get back to work because we're having a baby now. I just..." Stile sighs. "I didn't know what to think."

"Then, you should just asked me, okay? That's what marriage is like, you know?" That didn't come out right. Jackson closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head.

"Okay, sorry," Jackson says, opening his eyes. "That wasn't fair." It's too easy to forget that this Stiles hasn't been in a relationship for that long.

"No, it wasn't," Stiles says.

"Look. I didn't assume anything. Honestly, your working status has been the last thing on my mind since you woke up. I'm just thankful that you are alive..."

Stiles doesn't know what to say for a moment, so Jackson continues.

"But if you ask me now, I think that you shouldn't go back to work yet. It's been just four months since you woke up. I think it's too soon."

"I didn't mean I want to go back to work right now. I just wanted to know if you had thought about it. I didn't know if you, my father, Isaac... if all of you expected me to resume my job at the company," Stiles says.

"Like I said, I don't know what your father or Isaac think but I guess that yeah, maybe in the back of my mind, I imagined that _eventually_ , you could go back. It is your company, you know? You're the director, not Isaac, he just works for you."

"Well, he's taken care of everything since the accident and apparently he's doing a hell of a job, so right now I think he should keep doing what he's doing... because I'm not going back," Stiles admits.

"What do you mean?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.

"I mean I've got fucking amnesia and I can no longer work in something I don't know anything about. And don't tell me it's temporary, okay? Because it isn't."

"I wasn't going to." Jackson won't tell him but he's not feeling optimistic about his husband's amnesia anymore. He feels that all those memories are gone forever and the sooner he accepts it, the better it will be for everybody.

"I know I could back to college... but to be honest, I don't feel like going back to school at this point. I already had the college experience even if I don't remember it," Stiles says with resignation.

It's not often but every time Stiles says something like that, it breaks Jackson's heart in little pieces and it feels like he can't breath for a few seconds. He knows Stiles can't see that and he knows that he doesn't do it consciously, so it's not like Jackson can tell him the effect it has on him.

"Besides, I have a family now and you need me here. And I _want_ to be here," Stiles adds quickly just in case Jackson misunderstood what he meant. "With the baby coming too, of course, I want to be here and nothing is going to change that."

"Okay," Jackson says relieved. Maybe he and his wolf need to hear those words more often that he wants to admit. It just feels really good to hear again that Stiles is there because he wants to be, because it's his choice.

"I understand that. And it's your decision. If you don't want to go back... like you said, Isaac can stay in that position and you can always hire somebody else to help... or Isaac can do it for you, if you want. I mean, whatever you decide to do it's okay with me."

A part of Jackson is sad to see it end this way because this was his husband's ambition for a long time. Stiles worked his ass off to make it a reality and to make it work. He was proud of it until the day of the accident... it was his achievement. His baby. And now, it means nothing to him, everything behind that accomplishment is gone and it breaks Jackson's heart again when he thinks about it.

"I'm glad you say that because I know what I want to do... and well, I wasn't sure how to tell you..." Stiles bites his lip and, not that Jackson needs it to know that Stiles is nervous, but he can hear his husband's heart beating faster and it's making Jackson uneasy too.

"Stiles, god, you can tell me anything." Jackson says, because it feels like once again he needs to remind him that he can trust him. "You should--"

"I want to attend the police academy, okay?" Stiles interrupts him. "I've been thinking about it--"

"The police academy?" Jackson interrupts him this time. "You want to be a cop?"

"Yeah. That's usually how it works. You go to the police academy. You become a recruit. Eventually you become a police officer and hopefully, in the future, I could make detective."

Jackson is speechless for a moment. He's looking at Stiles in that way that makes him very uneasy... but by now, Stiles has learnt to read Jackson better and he knows it's not something good.

"I..." Jackson hesitates. "I admit you caught me off guard. I don't know what to say right now." Because he's afraid of saying the wrong thing. It's happened too many times in the past.

"You're really serious about this?" Jackson frowns.

"Yes, I am." Stiles licks his lips. "I know this may come as a surprise to you... That's why I went to see my father this morning. I wanted to know his take on this, you know…"

"You told your father first." It's a statement, not a question. Of course, that was to be expected. This Stiles would tell his father before his husband. Jackson can't hold it against him even if he wants to.

"I needed to see how he reacted before telling you." Stiles says that like it's the most obvious and logical thing to do.

Jackson shakes his head. "Yeah. I get it. And what did he say?"

"Well, he was surprised... obviously. But we talked about it and I think I got him to understand it. He's not against it, if that's what you mean."

"I didn't mean it that way. I'm just sure he didn't see it coming..."

"He thought you wouldn't take it too well."

"He said that?" Jackson asks.

"Kind of. Yeah. So, just be honest, you think it's a bad idea, don't you?" Stiles asks.

"I'm still in shock over here." Jackson admits, running a hand through his hair. "But I never said it was a bad idea..."

"So you're okay with it," Stiles says in that way that reminds Jackson of the way teenage Stiles used to be.

Jackson snorts, "I didn't say that either."

There is silence after that, probably because Stiles is waiting for him to say why he isn't okay with it.

"Look, this is the first I've heard about this. When we finished high school, we both wanted to go to college and you never said anything about this. It was our chance to do something normal and get away from all the supernatural craziness of those years. And your father couldn't be any happier and prouder of you. So, I don't know what he told you exactly, but I know him and I'm sure he's not as happy as he might have said he is."

"So you think I'm a disappointment if I do this, don't you?" Stiles crosses his arms.

Jackson rolls his eyes dramatically. "How could you even say that? You could never be a disappointment to anybody, okay? Your father is the sheriff, for god's sake. He loves his job and he makes a great service to our town. But he's always wanted you to be safe and stay out of trouble. Ever since you were kidnapped, he's been afraid to lose you just for being in the pack... And now you tell him that you're gonna be carrying a _gun... with bullets..._ dealing with _all_ the risks of a law enforcement job... and you know, it scares him as much as it scares me. It's that simple."

"Besides, we know you." Jackson continues. "You aren't the type of guy who is going to let somebody else take the risks. I know what you're capable of and I know you'll put yourself in danger to protect somebody else or just because you think you have to. And shit, I almost lost you once and I don't want me or our kids to go through that again. I don't want to lose you."

Stiles is taken aback for a moment. It still happens sometimes when Jackson says something like that. He can feel Jackson's sincerity in a way that he can't explain.

"That's what my father said you would say." Stiles sighs.

"Well, your father was right, obviously." Jackson says with a sarcastic tone.

"But he trusts me that I can do this. He didn't say it was a crazy idea."

"I didn't say it was crazy either. Of course you could do it. You can do anything you set your mind to do. You're smart and fearless and... I don't know... I'm still not sure why you want to do this. You're going to be a dad again pretty soon. I thought you wanted to take care of the baby."

"Of course I want to do that." Stiles waves his arms. "I can study for the Civil service exam online. I can do both things at home and I'll take it easy, okay? I'm not in a hurry. It could take at least six or seven months until I take that exam... I'm really not sure yet... so it's not like I'll be attending the academy any time soon."

Besides, at the academy in Beacon Hills, the recruits sleep at home, so it's not like if he's not going to be in contact with his family while he's there.

Stiles grabs Jackson's right hand, and it's not just because physical contact always seems to calm Jackson down. "I need to move on... I need a new start... and I know I can do this, okay? And I need a job. You're not going to be the only one working in this family. And I understand your concerns... but you have to trust me that I'll do things right. I'll be careful and nothing is going to happen to me." Stiles tries to sound convincing but he's not sure that he's doing a great job. "Will you trust me?"

Jackson looks at their hands, then at Stiles. He's always had problems saying no to him.

"Yeah. I trust you." But he doesn't trust other people, that's the problem. Anything can always happen.

"Thank you." Stiles smiles and Jackson feels like it's stupid to argue more about this right now. They can continue some other day, although he knows his husband and when he wants something, usually nothing stops him, consequences be damned.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking it. I'm [otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> It would be really lovely to have some feedback but I guess some people already know that.


End file.
